


the mighty boosh oneshots

by orphan_account



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:14:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23697562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Vince is bored while doing a shift at Nabootique, and Howard is writing a poem about quills. (please note this is the cringiest most horrible thing you will ever read, I wrote this 6 years ago. alright love ya bye)
Relationships: Howard Moon/Vince Noir
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

"Howard. Howard Howard Howard Howard Howard. Howard Howard Howard"  
"Oh my god what?"  
"How long do fish wait to swim after they eat?"  
"How many times a week do you have to ask this?"  
"I dunno how many times do I have to ask until you have to answer?"  
"just shut up."  
"Why do you always seem so angry when you're around me?"  
"I'm a busy man Vince and you can be quite distracting"  
"how? I'm the least distracting person in Dalston"  
"Youre wearing sparkly pink pants."  
"And? If anyone here is distracting it's you"  
"I most certainly am not sir"  
"But you are Howard"  
"you've literally said by face is the most generic you've seen that it resembles a cream balloon"  
"maybe I was kidding"  
"As if. You say it nearly every day"  
"Well maybe I'm covering for something"  
"Covering for what exactly? What could you have to hide"?  
And with that Vince pulls Howard close to him and kisses him roughly  
"Maybe I like you Howard? Ever think of that? Course not because you're so wrapped up thinking about girls who aren't good enough for you. You know what Maybe I even love you Howard, but what does that matter? You'd never love me so why do I keep going after you? Maybe-"  
Howard cuts him off with a soft kiss   
"you talk too much."  
He puts his hands on Vince's waist and they look into each others eyes (I made myself cringe hard witt that line)  
"I love you too Vince"  
"I think that is the smoothest you've ever been in your life."  
"hey, I'm as smooth as a... lollipop. They call me the smooth leopard"  
"oh, look at the time want to go to Topshop?"  
"just let me lock up."  
"Ya know what let's just go upstairs, and have a cuppa tea"  
"sounds groovy, we can listen to some j-." Howard cuts himself off "electro...?"  
"nah I was thinking more about some funk."   
They hear a noise and turn to see the funk.  
"On the other hand electro sounds great let's go."


	2. just another part nbd lol

Howard and I have been dating for over a year now. Our families and friends know about us and are super supportive, they think we were made for each other, but lately, things have been weird between us. If I'm being honest, I have been less than faithful, I often sleep around with both men and women all of which obviously aren't him. Don't get me wrong he is my best friend, but I'm starting to think that's all he'll ever be. I just don't love him anymore. When I come to that realization, I feel my heart stop as I crumble to the floor.

So here I am, sitting on my bedroom floor crying over a man I thought I would love forever. Life is funny like that. It's so crazy how short of time it can take to fall in and out of love. I start thinking of ways to tell him, which makes me start sobbing even harder. Howard is the best thing to happen to me, and now all I can think of is leaving him, even after all, he's done for me. Howard has always been my rock, the number of times he's been there to hold me when the pressures of being Vince Noir get to me. Or even how he always is there to make sure I'm safe and healthy. That's not even all, Howard is perfect, so why can't I keep it together? I'd love to say our relationship can be saved, but believe me when I say it can't. 

"Vince? What's wrong!?" Howard exclaims sounding ever so concerned which makes me feel even worse. He's obviously still so head over hills in love with me. I'm not usually so sensitive about people's feelings, in fact, I'm quite shallow at the best of times but seeing Howard's sweet face, I realize I can't do it. I turn my head away from him and get distracted by my reflection, it's pointing the middle finger at me. "Why's your reflection mad?" Howard questions "your reflection's always happy and so are you. Oh my gosh did Mick Jagger become a jazz musician?" the very thought scared me enough to snap me back to reality. "Howard, I think I need to be honest with you," my voice shaky "Vince I know, and It's ok, I understand, we aren't working out. Please don't cry." He soothes. Relief washes over me a quarter of the sadness fades, "you'll get over me Howard, one day," Howard rolls his eyes. "right I know what'll cheer you up," feeling curious I look up "there's a sale on at Top shop." "I don't feel like going to Top shop, I'd rather stay and talk to you, you're my best friend Howard," "you too Vince. Want to listen to this new jazz album I got today?" "Nope," I say and start sprinting to Top shop.   
I guess that didn't go as bad as I thought it would. I can't help but regret it thought. I was so sure of this decision at the time, but now I wish it didn't happen. What if no one else will love me? I know I'm beautiful and everything, but I'm sometimes not the most considerate person. Are my looks enough?   
I feel a tap on my shoulder, causing my thoughts to be disrupted, I turn to see a giant peg with the face of Russell Brand. "you dropped this" he says handing me my mirror with his chopstick arms and bobby pin hands. That's when I fell in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello no one, because that's who's reading this trash. I promise next time i write I'll try lol.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, if you made it to the end of this thankyou so much. I know this was horrible, in the next one I'll actually try. Again thankyou have a great day/night.


End file.
